Temptation strikes at LivingSmall:

Temptation strikes at LivingSmall: On Sunday, I clean my house. My brother takes the dogs for the day, and I clean, then go to whatever movie the Danforth Film Festival is showing in the afternoon. It’s not a very big house, about 1000 square feet, so it’s no gargantuan task, but I have hardwood floors throughout, and two dogs who during the midweek thaw tracked in big globs of mud from the plowed field in my backyard that will eventually be a vegetable garden. I did a little mid-week spot mopping, but by the time I got around to real cleaning, there were actual drifts of dirt in the corners.

My usual process is to vacuum everything, including the couple of kilms I have in my office and the living room, then pull up the rugs and vacuum underneath them, then mop. Here’s where I almost fell off the LivingSmall wagon this week. Suddenly, looking at my house I was overcome with dreams of the Hoover FloorMate . I went online and read some reviews at epinions, where users wrote glowingly of the ease of use, of the way their Hoover FloorMates glided across hardwood floors, scrubbing, mopping, squeegee-ing up the water. I read about the trigger feature where, when one encounters say, a muddy footprint, one squeezes the trigger and the machine, the wonderous machine gives the spot a little extra juice and like magic! the muddy footprint disappears. I spent a couple of hours entranced by this dream. I came home from breakfast (sorry dogs, no walk when the temp is below zero) and came this close to walking over to the hardware store on Main Street, a mere 2 blocks away and plopping down one hundred and sixty nine dollars for the promise of effortless cleaning.

And then I remembered the EasyBake Oven. I remembered the weeks before Christmas when I fantasized about how great my life would be if only I had an EasyBake Oven. And I remember my disapointment when I discovered that the guts of the EasyBake oven was a light bulb. It wasn’t magical. It wasn’t wonderful. I used it a couple of times and then, tired of the rubbery little cakes that didn’t taste like anything, it got stuffed in the back of the closet.

Even in my Sunday morning dreamy state, even looking at floors I really didn’t want to spend two hours cleaning properly, even besotted by visions of the Hoover FloorMate, I knew that buying another machine was not the answer. I knew, deep in my heart, that the Hoover FloorMate violates the tenets of living small on several fronts: it’s specialized, it’s another machine, and worst of all, it requires special fluids. Anything that requires one to use manufacturer-specific fluids must be avoided. Standing in my kitchen, fighting the temptation to run two blocks over to the Ace Hardware store where this magical machine was calling its siren call to me, I thought of special fluids and remained strong.

I came to my senses. I got over it. I have a perfectly good vacuum cleaner. I have a bucket and a couple of different mops. I vacuumed. I pulled up the rugs. I mopped with a little Murphy’s Oil Soap in a bucket of hot water. The sunlight came through the windows and turned my douglas fir floors a lovely honey yellow. The house smelled good. It was clean. I went to the movies one hundred and sixty-nine dollars less poor than I would have been had I succumbed to the seduction, the oh-so-professional seduction of the American advertising machine.

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Sylvia Plath, Baking and Feminism:

Sylvia Plath, Baking and Feminism: There have been a number of articles on the web lately about Kate Moses new book Wintering, a fictional account of Sylvia Plath’s last months when she was writing Ariel. The piece that got me thinking was the essay Kate Moses wrote for the Guardian called “Baking with Sylvia”. In this essay, Moses talks about how for both herself and for Sylvia Plath, baking was a way of creating order out of chaos, and how as she found herself up against her deadline for the book, Moses also found herself baking on a near-daily basis, much as Plath had those last months while living in London and writing Ariel.

Baking is one of those things that tends to sort cooks into categories, because in order to be a good baker, you have to be able to really follow the directions. I’m an okay baker — I have a couple of standbys — simple fruit tarts, a fluffy yellow sponge cake filled with fresh fruit and iced with whipped cream that I cribbed from Dom Deluise’s fabulous cookbook: Eat This…It’ll Make You Feel Better:…. But even that cake, a cake so good I’ve had strange men look up at potlucks and say “who made this, I want to marry her,” belies my essential inability to follow a recipe with exactitude. Dom’s sainted mother, whose recipe this is, uses canned peaches with heavy syrup, and sliced almonds; I like defrosted frozen raspberries and mint leaves, and sometimes I put custard in the middle like Dom’s mom, sometimes I don’t. Real bakers don’t improvise like this. Real bakers weigh the flour. Real bakers actually take the knife and level off the flour in the measuring cup. My brother is a real baker, and has wowed Christmas crowds with stunning renditions of Jacques Pepin’s Paris Brest. In high school, we could always tell when my beautiful cousin Dede was having trouble with food again because she’d start baking, turning out exquisite cakes that she wouldn’t dream of eating. Me, I’m a sloppier cook — which is why I bake bread. Bread is forgiving of improvisation, even the sourdough bread I’ve been experimenting with the past couple of months. There were a few brick-like loaves, and the round loaves keep coming out too flat, but for the most part, it’s all bread. Nice clean wholesome bread made with sourdough starter, locally grown and milled wheat, and a little salt.

So what does any of this have to do with Plath? Nothing I guess, except that it struck me as I read Moses’ essay about her own baking, and its relationship to the inevitable tension between writing and family life (“As I neared the end, my husband and two children were getting used to my conspicuous absence, or my thousand-mile stare when I was physically present … My five-year-old was sometimes heard muttering in the hallway, ‘Mommy’s behind the door.’”), I became sad for Plath, sad for Anne Sexton, and Adrienne Rich, sad for all those women who lived in a world where baking and intellectual activity, where home life and poetry were considered mutually exclusive. I remember my own terror, my own worries that if I got married, had kids, had a domestic life, I’d never be a writer — and this was thirty years after Plath, Sexton, Rich, Lessing. Despite my fears, I was living in a world where this juggling act was at least possible. How much more difficult must it have been for them? The continual juggling between family life and intellectual life?

Salon ran an excerpt from Wintering, and it looks interesting. I seem to keep blogging about books I haven’t read yet, and neglecting the ones I have read.I’m not sure what that’s all about — as I work my way through the pile I’ll try to reoprt back more regularly.

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Living Small in my Small Town

Living Small in my Small Town I’ve been home since Friday night and I’m only now beginning to recover enough to even think about adding to the blog. Five days in San Jose was simply draining … aside from the work things, which are too boring to blog about, just being around all those people, all that traffic, just the feeling of being in public for five days absolutely wore me out. Getting home was a trial, since there had been fog or snow or something in Salt Lake City that morning, which, since Salt Lake is the Delta hub, screwed up all the Delta flights. I flew from San Jose to Salt Lake sitting beside a nice man whose pregnant wife had gone off to the hospital that morning, and he was worried and trying to get back to Colorado Springs. Funny how sometimes travelling just seems like such a bad idea, how we get so used to the fact that we can cross the country in four or five hours that we forget that sometimes you just can’t get from here to there. (I hope he got home and everything was okay with the baby.) I got back to Bozeman just in time for another fun drive over the pass through heavy sleet and trucks in the ditch. I finally got back to town, and stopped in for what was left of happy hour at the Bar and Grill. There was my brother, my friends Scott and Jennifer, and the usual Friday evening characters (the nice lady who talks way too much about nothing, the talented cabinetmaker who drinks and becomes unreliable after about four in the afternoon). Glen the bartender made me a nice big gin and tonic and just knowing that people had been discussing the fact that the pass must be bad because it was taking me over an hour to get back from Bozeman made me feel happy, and home. I was back in my small town, where I’m known, where I’m not just one more anonymous person. That’s why I moved here, why I wanted a smaller life, a life small enough that I could know its contours.

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Even cafeteria Asian food tastes Amazing

Even cafeteria Asian food tastes amazing after four months in southeastern Montana, which despite its many many charms is an ethnic food wasteland. I’m in San Jose for work this week, and today was something of an epic. I left Livingston at five this morning, only to run into whiteout conditions on Bozeman Pass. Who needs coffee before an early-morning flight when you can have a big old jolt of adrenaline? (Don’t worry Dad, I’m fine.)

So, by the time I got to Cisco, I was hungry, but I had a lot to do, and about fifty emails to answer, so I just popped down to the cafeteria in my building, where I had the “bento special”. This wasn’t real bento, it wasn’t even particularly great bento … it was just a plate with rice, a couple of potstickers, some fried tofu, and some kimchee … but after months in Montana, where even this very ordinary, not very good Asian food would be considered hugely exotic, well, let’s just say I was a happy girl and got through the afternoon just fine. If I have to leave Montana for a week, just when we’ve finally gotten snow, I guess staying in a hotel surrounded by two enormous malls full of Chinese, Japanese, Malaysian, Vietnamese and Thai restaurants sort of makes up for it.

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To Blog or to Ski?

To Blog or to Ski? Blogging has been hampered by the belated but beautiful snowfall we’ve had this week. I bought a season’s pass for Bridger Bowl this fall, but I haven’t gotten as much use out of it as I’d hoped. I thought I was going to be able to sneak out a little more during the week than I’ve managed, and I might have been more inspired to make the drive over the hill had our friend Bill Campbell not lured me up to Suce Creek for some cross country action earlier this week. I haven’t cross-country skiied since I came west in 1988, but I did a fair amount of in in college because, well, it was the midwest and it’s flat. But I kept my old skis, which my grandmother gave me ages ago (she bought them thinking she’d ski around our farm, but decided it was too much work and went back to her snowmobile). They’re nice old wood skis, so when Bill called on Monday and said he was taking the dogs up in the afternoon, I dusted them off (literally), stopped and bought some wax on the way out of town, and decided to give it a whirl.

It was great! Twenty minutes out of town we were at the bottom of the road. Confronted with a foot of fresh powder, the dogs went wild with joy. I strapped on my old woodies, laced up my lovely, beat up old leather telemark boots, and off we went. About forty minutes later we’d skiied up through gorgeous pine forest, dogs romping up and down the hillsides, tunnelling through the snow and then bursting out with a big Broadway-baby ta-da as if to show us how unbelievably clever they were. It was a workout to be sure, but even someone as aerobically-challenged as myself could keep up and have a good time. And then we got to ski down the road … which on skinny little wooden skis with no edges, and four dogs, some of whom didn’t really understand the concept, romping in front of me, well it was as much challenge as anyone could want (although I did collide with my Raymond, my 2-year old dog. He just freaked out and panicked when he saw me coming up behind him … but what’s the fun of skiing if you never fall down and roll around in the snow?).

I love downhill skiing, because I’m essentially lazy and appreciate having a lift to haul my sorry ass up the hill, and because I have a bit of the speed freak in me, and I really love the sensation of flying down the hill, making good turns, that feeling you get when you fall in with the right rhythm and it’s all coming together. But I have to say, as someone who has to work more than I did when I was in my twenties and could ski every day, I really like the option to sneak out of the office and be back at my desk two hours later, having had a great time outside, having gotten a little exercise and some astonishing views of the Paradise Valley, with tired dogs flopped on their beds, redolent with that smell only happy wet dogs give off. I’ve been up there every day this week, seduced by the light equipment, the easy access, the exercise for me and the dogs, the happy faces of my fellow neighbors who have also bugged out of work a little early to catch the last daylight up in the mountains.

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