Livingston mistral …

Livingston mistral …

To live with the Santa Ana is to accept, consciously or unconsciously, a deeply mechanistic view of human behavior…Whenever and wherever a foehn wind blows, doctors hear about headaches and nausea and allergies, about ‘nervousness,’ about ‘depression.’ … . Joan Didion, Slouching Towards Bethlehem

Even for Livingston, a place where the wind routinely blows so hard that they have to divert truck traffic off the interstate …

… because the trucks blow over, a place where the wind once blew a freight train off the tracks, even for Livingston, this last bout of wind has been excessive. I’ve been thinking of Didion, because I’ve been feeling very close to the bone all weekend. One of those spells where your dead relatives seem even more hopelessly dead, where relations gone wrong haunt one, where it all just seems sort of futile and hopeless and where it’s a good thing to have simple animals who need caring for because well, they’re the same sweet souls they were last week and in a bad moment, they’ll sit on the couch with their heads in your lap.

And then tonight there was a break in the wind. The dark clouds lifted and I was thinking hmm, it’s passing, and then I realized that the wind had died down. It wasn’t blowing for the first time in days.

I find a mechanistic view of human behavior comforting. It means the emotions aren’t real. It’s just the weather — something a zen teacher tried to drum into my head years ago. Like clouds. Real enough, but not so real.

Of course, the wind has kicked up again …

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