It’s Good to be a Favorite

 Its Good to be a Favorite
I usually hate photos of myself, but this is me and my 94-year-old grandmother at my cousin Jason’s wedding this past weekend. It’s a family joke that my older cousin Brad and myself are The Favorites (so are Adam and Jennifer, but even among The Favorites, some are more favored than others), and well, it’s true. It’s good to be a favorite, and look at the picture, there I am basking in it. My grandmother and I adore one another — and although it was difficult to visit much since it was a big party, and she can neither see nor hear very well anymore — we had a wonderful time hanging out together and she regaled my dear old friend John with stories about the history of the farm.

The wedding was wonderful. Jason and Jackie met in 4-H when they were both about fourteen, and have been living together for the past ten years or so. They really love one another and it was one of those sweet weddings where everyone is just thrilled about two people who really seem to belong together. The wedding party included Jason’s older brother Adam, who is also a favorite. I almost never get to see Adam, because he moved to Missouri where his wife’s family is from. Here’s a pic of me and Adam, and as you can see, even my slightly grumpy cousin Adam was having a good time at the wedding:  Its Good to be a Favorite

Our cousin Matt took the picture — Matt, who I haven’t seen since he was about seven. I’m the oldest girl of all nine cousins, and Matt was one of the little ones I spent a lot of time carrying around on one hip, and I was afraid I wouldn’t recognize him. But there he was — this big grown up man with Matt’s funny little face still (you probably wouldn’t see this unless, like me, you hadn’t seen him since he was a kid). I had a nice visit with both of them, and in that funny way that family sometimes works, you would have thought we’d all just seen one another last week, it was that comfortable. On the way out from the city, we drove through several rain squalls, but it cleared up in time for the ceremony, and then afterward the sky turned that gorgeous pale blue, the clouds were fluffy and white, the fields were all green, and my aunt Molly’s new foal was frolicking in the paddock with his mother. It was about as lovely a wedding as I’ve ever been to …

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Travelling

Off next week to San Jose for work, then to Chicago — or rather Leland, for a family wedding. My cousin Jason, who lives on our family farm, is finally making an honest woman out of Jackie — it looks to be quite a hoe-down, with all sorts of people from Jase’s Leland buddies (Leland is a tiny farm town about 90 minutes southwest of the city) to horse show people, to Chicago friends from his prep school days. I’m quite looking forward to it — it will be wonderful to see my 94-year-old grandmother again, and my Aunt Molly who I adore — we talk politics and she helped me figure out what kind o fhouse to buy — and my old friend John is going with me, and Jason is The Cousin I’d Take to a Desert Island — he’s kind, and funny, and he’s an industrial pipefitter, so he can build things. Despite too much flying next week, I’m quite looking forward to it all …

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Mini-Vacation

Off to Seattle for the weekend to see my beloved stepmother Susan and hear my friend Jim Fergus read from his terrific new book, The Wild Girl : The Notebooks of Ned Giles, 1932 Mini Vacation I am thoroughly looking forward to a few days in a real city — I havent’ been to Seattle since the summer of 1994, when I worked my first high-tech job there. Just think — reliable shellfish, raw oysters, actual Asian food, Elliott Bay Books, and I get to see Susan’s new house.

Susan, my stepmother, is only 7 years older than I am, which for a long time was very very weird. She married my dad when she was only 21, and got us in the bargain. I was 13 and Patrick was 11 and Susan had graduated from my high school a mere four years before I moved in with them at the start of my freshman year. So in many ways, it was great — she knew the scene, knew my teachers, knew how brutal high school could be. In other ways though, it was all very odd, and I am sorry to say that Patrick and I were pretty awful to her those first few years. But she hung in there, and over the years proved to be someone who was always on our side — she went to bat for the to of us on countless occasions and so when she and Dad split up about 15 years ago, we told her that he could run off to Europe if he wanted, but that we were keeping her. Susan bought her house about the same time I bought my little house here in Montana, and we joke about being the only two homeowners in the family. I’m really looking forward to seeing her house, and especially her garden. The photos are enough to make a girl green with jealousy — in only two years her perennials are gorgeous — that’s what happens when you live someplace where it actually rains. Of course, we had another 2 inches of snow last night, and I’m enormously relieved to say that my cold frames are proving worth their weight in gold. It’s 29 degrees out there this morning, but a balmy 40 degrees inside the cold frames, which is good because it didnt’ even occur to me to bring in the tomato and pepper seedlings last night. While we desperately need the moisture these last couple of waves of storm have brought with them, I’m also looking forward to getting out of the late-spring snow zone.

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Ah! Borrowed Babies!

This morning my friend Nina called and asked, with that sort of tense tone in her voice, what I was doing. Why? I said. Do you need a rescue? Turns out, she was in the car with the twins, who had a pediatrician’s appointment, and her husband (who is writing for TV trying to support them all) had a sudden deadline at eleven. She needed an extra set of arms.

Well count me in. There’s no cure for a case of low-level January depression like a two month old baby that needs a snuggle.

I did have to check my schedule though. While I have no evidence that part of the reason that I lost the Totally Cushy Real Job and got booted over into the Real Job I Don’t Know How To Do is because I spent a lot of time last summer driving Nina to Billings for doctor’s appointments when she was pregnant, it was probably a tiny little factor. So this morning, Nina was all: “if you have to work …” but the glory of the Real Job is that it’s in California, which is an hour behind Montana, so it looked like I could go.

And when I got there, there was Lola, wearing the completely extravagent sweater I bought for her in France (deep rose, hoodie, with these fabulous buttons that look like roses and are made from ribbon). I am superstitious, and won’t ordinarily buy baby presents for babies who aren’t here yet, but when I went to France for the anniversary of Patrick’s death, I decided it was time to believe in these babies. And the shopkeeper in the gorgeous French baby clothes store saw me coming — I spent a fortune, and it was worth every penny. Each baby got a gorgeous outfit, and with any luck they may grow enough this winter to wear them!

The pediatrician was interesting — I’m not a mom, so while the doctor was very nice, and has a young baby of her own, I was somewhat shocked by her tone, which seemed to imply that the doctors had loaned Nina these two babies, and gee, wasn’t she doing a good job with them? Now Nina’s one of the most confident moms I know, and these are babies three and four, so she’s got a bag of tricks under her belt, and I must say, if this is the way doctors talk to moms, then no wonder they wind up feeling insecure.

But, as the auntie, I had a lovely morning with Violet, and Lola, holding whichever baby wasn’t being stripped naked, weighed, and having her head measured. And then there were the terrible injections — each one of the bunnies got an RSV injection — their little legs are so tiny, and the needle was so big, and they were deeply betrayed. It was terrible. But by the time we left, Lola, who hadn’t slept at all last night, had passed out against my collarbone from the excitement, and despite the immediate horror of being stuck with that big needle, they were fine.

As was I, after a quick morning hit of infant, and a reminder that it’s good to be a member of the village.

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Truffles for Granny

My grandmother is ninety four today. Ninety four! She’s still got all her faculties, although she’s got a glass eye, and an artificial hip. She started a lending library in her little farm town in Illiniois at ninety because she’d “retired” and she needed a project. So she got a lot of people to donate books, and she got a donated building, and she catalogued all the books. If you want to borrow a book from my grandmother’s library, basically you just write it down in the notebook, and you bring it back when you want. It’s a great little library. People come in and talk to her, she loans them books, and everyone is happy. And so because my grandmother is still funny and she loves me, for her birthday I made her some bittersweet chocolate and cinnamon truffles. She’s lived almost exclusively on chocolate for at least thirty years now — she doesn’t need anymore stuff, but she does like chocolate. So this year, instead of sending her a box of Sees, I thought I’d make her some truffles.

They’re not hard, and I had a bar of Scharffenberger bittersweet chocolate that I’d picked up the last time I was in California — so I chopped it fine, heated 3/4 cup of heavy cream to the boiling point, poured it over the chopped chocolate in the bowl, added a splash of Grand Marnier and swirled it until the whole thing went shiny and smooth. Then cooled it, and a day later, used my new, groovy mini-ice-cream-melon-baller-scoop to scoop out the truffles.

The chocolate truffles were good, but the chocolate was really bitter, and I thought that rolling them in cocoa would be too much, and I don’t like the super-sweet punch that powdered sugar packs. So I thought that cinnamon sugar would be nice — it’d sweeten up the bitter chocolate a little bit, and I really love that Mexican cinnamon-chocolate taste. So I rolled the scooped-out chocolate balls in cinnamon sugar, and packed them in a box for Granny. They weren’t pretty (but they’re supposed to look like fungus, right?), but they were really good. It worked. There was just enough sugar to sweeten them up, and the cinnamon added a nice spice. If I made them for anyone other than my granny, I’d add some chile to the mix — I think these would be great with a little heat added to them.

So that was the cooking project for the week. Truffles for my granny, who is known for obscure family reasons as Mommy Jane (and since it embarasses her to no end to have a bunch of grown up grandchildren calling her this, we insist on continuing to do so). Happy Ninety Fourth Mommy Jane! May I too live to be lucid and old and still thinking of something useful I can do in my community.

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Derby Day

Ah, The Kentucky Derby. When we were little kids, our parents belonged to a not-terribly-fancy Hunt Club in northern Illinois. Admitting that I come from people who foxhunted is, in the circles in which I travel as an adult, sort of like saying we wore hoop skirts or held slaves. Stange, exotic and totally not PC. (But if I was to take up riding seriously again, it’s the only thing I’d be interested in pursuing — hunting is fun. I once interviewed an infamous Himalayan climber, who originally hails from a working-class family in Yorkshire, and who was embarassed nearly to death to tell me he’d taken up foxhunting with his Denver wife, but who also admitted that he loved it. That he loved galloping for hours and hours across the countryside.)

So anyway, the Huntmaster, who trained and took care of all the hounds, was a man named Bud Murphy. Uncle Bud, and his wife Pat. We spent a lot of time at their house in the couple of years right after our parents were divorced. And every year, they spent the winter in Mississippi with the hounds, and returned after The Derby. They had a full set of those souvenier mint julep glasses that list all the winners, and over our breakfast orange juice we’d study the litany of those names. Uncle Bud once tried to explain the trifecta to me, but it never made sense — I’m instinctively not a bettor. We were at their house the year Secretariat won the Belmont by such a margin they had to split the screen. Bud was leaning forward in his barcalounger, Pabst Blue Ribbon in a can clutched in one hand, speechless. It was a moment. That big red horse surging down toward the finish line. Seasoned horse people left speechless in their seats.

Today, I was supposed to meet a couple of girlfriends and their kids for a swim, but I bailed because I had a lot to do around the house. Turned out I built two spectacular cold frames, and watched on and off all day as ESPN ran the full race card from Louisville. Patrick and I watched the Derby together on the phone more times than I can say … usually he was working a race or a golf tournement somewhere, but he’d always find someone to get him a video feed. Today, I was out in the side yard, measuring and sawing and figuring out how to make this thing work, and then I’d come in and look at the tv, and catch a race — I don’t care which race, I love them all. That move they make as they come around the final curve … the outside horse moving up … the lead horse striving to hang on. I wind up in front of the TV chanting “come on! come on! oh! oh!” And then finally, the big race.

A lovely race. Lion’s Heart was a great horse — surging around the corner — when Smarty Jones, the underdog with the deep chest and the jockey who was running the Derby for the first time, comes surging up from behind, and with great joy, takes the lead and wins the race. It was fabulous (although I worry it nearly killed the horse’s elderly owner on oxygen). A storybook Derby. A new cold frame. A good day in the garden and inside the house remembering my people — the horse people. Uncle Bud in his olive-green barcalounger, leaning forward, can of PBR in hand, speechless as that screen split, as that big red horse ran away with all our hearts.

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Granny Got A Brand-new Hip

Granny Got A Brand-new Hip

My 93-year-old grandmother had her hip replaced on Monday because she wants to ride again. It’s been three years since she could sit a horse, and since riding is her greatest joy, she willingly went in and let them, well, cut her leg off and put it back on again. (Although my cousin Jason tells me that her old horse, Ben, died last month. He swears he’s not buying her a new horse, but I have a hunch there will be one in that barn soon.) And since she’s 93, they didn’t want to risk putting her under, so they did it with just an epidural. An epidural! That means she was conscious — which I have to say, really kind of freaks me out. May I be so brave. Tough old bird, that one.

So, she comes out of surgery Monday evening, and she wasn’t supposed to have anything to eat or drink, in case of complications I suppose. But did this stop her? No — she demanded cake. I want cake! she said. And because she is my very formidable grandmother, they brought her cake, and ice cream. Because what’s not to celebrate when you’re 93 and just got a new hip and the surgery went well.

As we like to say here at LivingSmall — Everybody likes cake!

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Everybody Likes Cake, Part 2

Everybody Likes Cake, Part 2

Yesterday I moved a dumptruck load of compost into my new raised beds. I do not recommend moving a dumptruck load of compost by oneself, especially if one is, as I am, a small-ish woman who is no longer the strong thing she was in her twenties. It was hard. It was really hard and I had to get it all done yesterday because had been dumped in such a way that it blocked open the big gate to the alley. The dogs were pretty good about it, but every once in a while, something interesting would happen out there and the puppy would overcome his fear of the Big Blue Tarp and dash out into the alley. Once there, he would become deaf, forget his own name, and I’d have to stop in mid-wheelbarrow-load to go fetch him.

So, by the time the Darling Brother returned from Bozeman, I was very cranky. I was deep in a nobody-loves-me-and-I-had-to-do-this-all-by-myself funk. The Darling Brother returned from Bozeman with a cute little white bakery box tied up with a pretty purple ribbon. Clearly the work of the Nice Girlfriend. Of course, I snapped at the D.B., who nonetheless did the last four or five wheelbarrow loads for me, and told me to go put the cake in the fridge. It was for Easter morning and the NG had spent quite a long time picking out just the right one. I put the cake in the fridge, we had a beer each on the comfy patio furniture, and between the beer and the late sunshine at 6:30 pm, and the fact that it was still a balmy 50 degrees, all was well once again.

So this morning I made a pot of tea and opened the little cake box. It was the most adorable little yellow layer cake you’ve ever seen. It has candied violets and mint leaves on it. It has little tiny rosettes. It tasted very good. It was a very nice little cake, and like all cakes, went a long way to lifting spirits. Everybody likes cake.

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Roast Chicken to Cure the Blues

Roast Chicken to Cure the Blues

My darling brother has a new girlfriend, and of course, when you are no longer young, new relationships tend to come with some baggage. The Nice Girlfriend had a tough day yesterday, her baggage was all noisy with her about the fact that she’s moving on in life, and she was a little blue. She’s also renovating her house, and domestic disarray never helps when feeling blue. Plus, the brother has a cold, and was a little low himself. So late in the afternoon they came over and we sat on the new, comfy outdoor furniture, looking at the beautiful-if-still-empty raised beds, and had a restorative cocktail. Meanwhile, I’d roasted a chicken and some potatoes, and steamed some of the gorgeous big artichokes that have flooded our local market. We sat in the backyard for a while, then came in and ate artichokes, and chicken, and potatoes and salad, with a nice bottle of wine left over from the fiesta the other night, and everything was just a little better. When people are feeling a little blue, there’s nothing like a roasted chicken — so easy (poke holes in lemon, stuff in cavity with some garlic, rub outside with olive oil, salt, pepper and paprika or ancho chili powder, roast at 400 for an hour to an hour and a half). A nice dinner in my yellow kitchen and the world feels slightly less wobbly on its axis.

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Living Small in Eastern Europe

Living Small in Eastern Europe My father, Jim Freeman, has lived in the Czech Republic since 1992 or so, and although for a number of years we didn’t really hear from him much, over the last couple of years he and I have developed a nice email relationship. Dad sent his last weekend, and since I have a weakness for draft horses, I thought I’d add it to the blog (although be advised, no one calls me “Char” except that handful of people who knew me before I was six):

Dear Char—

Seems I ought to share my day with you. There are days that just call out
for the sharing and this was one of them. It’s almost an essay and I guess
I’ll keep it as one, but I thought you’d understand it better than anyone.

I walked Barkley late this morning, up along the creek road past our little
local ski area and on up toward the reservoir. We haven�t been this way for
almost a month, our tours instead up past the pension that stands several
hundred yards above us, then circling further up and around on the blacktop
road. It hasn�t been visibly blacktop for months now either, packed snow
instead and well plowed, easy to walk.

Stuart Horwitz asked me just the other day if I wasn�t ready to �retire� to
a warm climate, but I am a winter man in my bones. I enjoy spring, tolerate
summer, love the fall, but my special season is winter and its wood fires,
heavy snows and the solitude of long days dark.

Anyway, Barkley was true to his Labrador spirit today, taking frequent
wriggling snow baths, nosing this and snuffling out that, being particularly
patient with my human requirement that he sit as occasional cars passed.
Beyond the ski lift, there�s no need of that as the road ends and it�s
closed to all but loggers and cross-country skiers from there up. We didn�t
go all the way up, something I reserve for New Year�s Eve and occasional
guests who want to wear themselves out.

But they�ve been logging for a week, five or six hundred yards up and, it
being Saturday, we came upon a solitary man with two lovely draft horses and
his German shepherd, snaking logs down to the road. They still do that here,
when they�re selectively logging instead of the increasingly cost-effective
clear cuts that scar our mountains as they do all mechanically lumbered
areas back in America. We have two men in our little village who trailer out
pairs of draft horses behind their tractors for just this purpose. But I
don�t often see them at work, more usually confined to a wave as I pass in
the car. So, today was a treat and I wished I�d had a camera. Maybe I�ll go
back. It’s possible they do this somewhere in Montana as well, but I kinda
doubt it.

He worked his horses down a skid-path, muddied and churned by their hoofs
and the fallen timber they pulled, one behind the other, he and the dog
following and not a word spoken until the bottom. The first time down, he
chooses a sightline path without too many drops, one they can manage and he
leads, chuckling the Czech language at them as they follow. After that, he
merely accompanies to see that nothing goes amiss, chaining up at one end,
unchaining at the other. Once they know the route, the horses know the work
and all follows from there. It�s as amazing to me as watching sheep-dogs
work a flock, this absolute communication and respect between man and
animal.

There were difficulties with the lead-horse log when they got down to the
stack. The butt dug in and caught, this huge chestnut gelding unable to get
footing enough to move it and �stumped.� Maybe that�s where the term comes
from. Man and animal, they worked it out together patiently, neither loosing
their cool, the woodman speaking softly and never touching his horse. The
second horse stood waiting behind, without much interest. If you�re looking
for an inquisitive animal, a horse is a poor choice. A few cross-country
skiers piled up, their run down from the reservoir interrupted by the
blockage. Like me, they watched, fascinated. Like me, they will tell this
story. The gelding turned uphill and jerked, hooves churning in the thawed
ground, came back around and lunged, backed off and waited. Tried a
different direction and the log rolled a half-roll, came free and moved.
Together, they got it lined up with the pile and Barkley and I moved on as
well. This work didn�t need a crowd.

Further up, it flattens to a small meadow and even though it was still
selective cutting, loggers were able to use four-wheel drive tractors. The
area was understandably churned up in wide arcs and cross-arcs. Without
doubt it was a more economic moving of timber, but without romance, without
the quiet words and understanding between man and animal. They don�t work
Saturdays, these machinery guys. When we came back down-trail, it was lunch
break and horses heads were deep within oat buckets, the shepherd worrying
some scraps and the man eating a sandwich, his back turned to the trail as
if he wished to be deeper into the woods.

This small miracle on an ordinary dog walk has stuck with me all day and I
somehow feel compelled to tell you about it. As if the telling will preserve
it in amber, because you and I both know this day is submitting to modern
methods and there are no young men learning the work. As I write �learning
the work,� I�m struck by the fact that this is work at its most honest. Not
the job we do, not the place we put in our hours for a fee, but the
cooperation between man and animal that our great grandfathers would have
instantly recognized.

Four hundred yards toward home, the modern world revealed itself (as if I�d
thought it gone or wished it gone). The parking area jammed with cars, lines
at the lift, skiers carving down the mountain to be mechanically towed back
up for another run. They�ll be high spirited tonight, then relaxed around a
fire or at dinner, eager for tomorrow and totally unaware of what transpired
a quarter mile up the trail. As I might have been, if Barkley hadn�t tired
of the same old walk and urged me elsewhere. I mark it as a wonderful day
and one of the reasons that keep me rooted to this country.

Anyway, I thought you�d enjoy it. Buy yourself a Subaru for those trips over
the pass.

Love from here—

Dad

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