Baguettes!

IMG 0678 300x224 Baguettes! Thanks to Michael Ruhlman and his bread baking app for the iPhone, I have nearly mastered the baguette.

Out here in the sticks, we don’t have access to the kinds of artisan breads that I could get even at my not-swanky supermarket in California. I live with a man for whom good carbs are really crucial — and who loves loves loves good bread.

I’ve been making the no-knead bread for ages (as my many posts on that subject attest), but it needs a long lead time and an overnight fermentation. There have been a few times recently when I’ve been out of bread but didn’t want to pony up four bucks for a mediocre loaf of bread at my local market. Ruhlman’s bread baking app is great — you can put in what you want to make, white or wheat, boule or baguette, and up comes a recipe. Yesterday I started the dough at about 3pm and we had bread for dinner at 8 (this is where working at home comes in handy).

The first one I made last night was too long for my oven, so it wound up as a sort of s-shaped baguette, but it tasted great. This morning, I mixed up a new batch, and split it into two loaves. Voilà! Baguettes.

The second batch I tinkered with a little bit — added some sourdough starter for flavor (which required a little math, the starter is 50/50 flour water, so I had to calculate how much flour and water I was replacing from the original recipe), and wheat germ for crunch and depth of flavor. They came out really well (although I haven’t tasted them yet).

IMG 0679 300x224 Baguettes! There is one minor issue I’m having … scorching. The recipe says to preheat the oven to 450 — I actually cut that to 425 because I’ve found that the no-knead works best at that temp. But both last night and today, I wound up with scorched bottoms when I baked them on the baking stone. The stone is on the bottom of the oven, and this afternoon, I put the loaves on parchment paper (makes it much easier to slide them into the oven that way). Still, wound up with scorched bread. When I smelled the scorching I moved the loaves up onto a rack, where the rest of the crust got nice and brown, but this is an issue. I’m going to have to play around with it.

I have to say, I love the iPhone app for this use. It’s easy to access, the instructions were simple and straightforward, and for the first time I understood how to roll/shape the baguettes so they didn’t go flabby all over the oven. It would be nice if there was a way to make a note on your own copy of the app. But overall, I’m a fan so far.

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Green Soup

IMG 0313 300x225 Green Soup Last spring when I had backyard greens to spare, I put up several quarts of “green soup.” And boy, am I glad now. It’s winter. It’s not that cold, but it’s grey and windy and grey — and nothing is growing in my garden and yet, down in the basement freezer, there are quarts of this lovely soup, made with my very own greens. A saving grace.

Green soup is very easy. Wash and chop greens of any variety — most of last springs’ soups were made with a mix of broccoli rabe, komatsuna, spinach, and mustard greens. In a big pot, sauté some chopped onion, and maybe a little garlic and red pepper flakes if you like. Then I like to add some peeled and chopped carrot (for sweetness). Sauté for a few minutes to start them cooking, then add all the greens and sprinkle with salt to taste. Throw in a few peeled and chopped potatoes (for a dutch oven full of soup, I’ll put in 2-3 peeled baking potatoes. You want them for the starch, to thicken the soup up.) Wilt the greens and add either stock or water to cover. Simmer until the potatoes and carrots are very soft, and the greens have cooked through. Then puree with an immersion blender. You can add a little cream if you like, or a dollop of sour cream or yogurt to the soup bowl.

I froze this in quart jars, which made me feel guilty for not eating them all summer, but are now rewarding me with late-winter green goodness. With a slice of toast, this is a perfect lunch.

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“Lifestyle” Chickens?

IMG 0666 224x300 Lifestyle Chickens?Chicken feed has been a problem lately. When I first got chickens, I bought regular commercial feed from the feed store where I bought the chickens — they carry the Nutrena brand (which is Cargill) and Purina. Regular layer feed runs about $16 for a 50lb sack, and scratch is about the same.

Then a new feed store opened in town, and they carried a local organic feed and scratch milled just north of here in Fort Benton called Big Sky Feeds. This is a photo of their scratch mix — and here’s the label:
IMG 0669 300x224 Lifestyle Chickens? — wheat, sunflower seeds and flax  (although there seems to be some corn in there too, but that’s probably because I poured the dregs of the regular feed into the scratch when I ran out of feed).

IMG 0667 224x300 Lifestyle Chickens?

Here’s what their mash looks like — what I like about this stuff isn’t necessarily that it’s organic, although that’s nice, but it’s that it looks like actual food. The label for this one looks like this:IMG 0670 300x224 Lifestyle Chickens? One reason I went into something of a tailspin about chicken feed last week, is because this company actually tells you what the ingredients are. You can’t find a list of actual ingredients on the commercial feed bags — you can find the “Guaranteed Analysis” but not what’s actually in the stuff.

Where the “lifestyle” part comes in is in the cost differential. “Lifestyle chickens” is the term my Sweetheart uses when I try to argue that backyard chickens are cost effective. That’s when the Man-with-no-affinity-for-livestock points out that you can buy ranch eggs for about three bucks a dozen all over town. Backyard chickens, he argues, with some validity have become a sort of status symbol, a marker of lifestyle. Since one of my other gigs is reviewing cooking and sustainability books for Bookslut, I’ve also got two or three years worth of evidence on that front in the form of various guides to urban and suburban homesteading (a term which alone is a sort of marker of class. Drive around Montana and you can see what homesteads actually were — dry, barren chunks of 120 acres where people, mostly unsucessfully, attempted to eke out a living). Most of these glossy books, filled with illustrations of largely white, largely professional folks seem as concerned with the aesthetics of one’s backyard setup as they are with the practical issues. I won’t even go into the holier-and-more-organic-than-thou tone of a couple of recent books, because they just pissed me off and what’s the point of giving them more  publicity?

This all came to a head for me last week when I ran out of chicken feed and discovered my local feed store had as well. The girl here told me she thought the feed stores in Bozeman carried the Big Sky Feed, and when I wound up at the fancy feed store over there, I found myself buying a 28 dollar bag of organic crumbles. As I drove away, I thought “I can’t spend $28 on chicken feed!?!” so I went to the nearby regular feed store to see what they had. They only had the regular Nutrena and Purina feeds, which don’t actually list what’s in them (nor can you find a list of ingredients on their websites). I knew I had some scratch left, and that my local feed store had the good feed on order, and although I felt ridiculous and precious about it, I just couldn’t bring myself to buy the processed commercial feed. So I get back in the car feeling pissed off and ridiculous and like some character from Portlandia with my first-world, organic chicken feed problems. I decide to return the too-expensive bag of feed, because although it’s organic, it’s just as processed as the non-organic ones, and what I really like about the Big Sky stuff is that it’s just grains. You can see what’s in it. I figure that I’ve got enough scratch to get through the week, and if the Big Sky stuff doesn’t come in, I’ll just buy the regular feed from my local feed store (which is Payback, another commercial brand).

So the long and the short of it is, that by the time I’d convinced myself that I was being precious, and that I was spending far too much money on chicken feed, the good chicken feed came back in, and I wound up spending $23 bucks on feed, and $22 bucks on scratch. Not really much less expensive than the $28 dollar bag that sent me into a tailspin, and, as someone I live with has pointed out, not any kind of economy. Especially with only 5 chickens in the yard, which really does put me smack in the middle of the least economical end of the spectrum. I’m not getting enough eggs to make selling them worthwhile, and yet, I’m getting more than Himself and I can eat. I’ve been waiting  until I have about 4 dozen in the fridge, then taking them to our local food pantry (if nothing else, I figure this is good karma in a bad economy). I get about 3 dozen eggs a week, and lets say I stretch these bags of feed and scratch to last 6 weeks, that means I’m spending just under $3.00 a dozen to grow my own eggs. Which is, as Someone will be happy to point out, no economy.

Yes, I know, I’m supporting a really good local company (in Montana, 190 miles is local), who are milling and marketing organic products whose food value is apparent just from looking at them. My chickens are healthy, and lay gorgeous eggs. I like my chickens, and the chicken-shitty-straw and compost is great for my garden. But as much as it pains me to admit it, what I have are indeed “lifestyle chickens.” On the other hand, if the revolution comes, I now know how to raise (and slaughter) chickens, which is a useful skill. But for now, I guess I have to accept it. I’m raising lifestyle chickens. Expensive, organic, lifestyle chickens.

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El Cheapo Kitchen Reno …

IMG 0642 300x224 El Cheapo Kitchen Reno ... I woke up the day after Christmas and decided that after ten years, I couldn’t stand my kitchen one more day. That it was time. Time to paint the kitchen.

My kitchen is the last frontier in this house. For almost ten years I’ve spun my wheels and lived with the kitchen as it was when I moved in. Kitchens are problematic that way. You think, well, if I’m going to paint I have to move the appliances, and if I’m going to pull out the appliances, then I should do the floor. And if I’m going to do the floor, then I might as well pull out that wall with the arch, and if I’m going to do that, then I should build the porch off the back of the house that I want to do — and I don’t have the money to do any of that so — for ten years I’ve lived with this kitchen.

But paint is cheap. And although I don’t love to paint, I’m reasonably competent. Since the Big Corporation closed for the week, so I wasn’t getting paid anyway, I decided I might as well work for myself. I dug out the paint chip I’d put in the folder several years ago when I went through an earlier bout of I-hate-my-kitchen, and an affordable $150 later, I was ready to paint.

Challenge 1: The Fridge Corner

IMG 0643 224x300 El Cheapo Kitchen Reno ... This corner is one of the characteristic weirdnesses of my kitchen. It was originally the closet for the room on the other side, but I had that wall pulled down before I moved in, so that there would be someplace to put the refrigerator. The floor beneath the fridge is really uneven — the vinyl flooring ends and the wood floor from the former closet begins. It’s one of the challenges of replacing the floor in this room. Now this corner looks like this:IMG 0664 224x300 El Cheapo Kitchen Reno ...

Challenge 2: The Former Door

IMG 0645 224x300 El Cheapo Kitchen Reno ...
This corner was also a problem. It’s hard to see in this photo, but next to that big square on the wall (where the previous owners had a large chalkboard) there was a door. That door led to the bathroom. In 2007 (?) I had the bathroom renovated, including moving the door so you no longer access it right off the kitchen. Ever since, the baseboards along that wall have been missing, exposing a horrifying line of plaster rubble along the floor. I hid it behind the bookcases, but it always freaked me out. Himself was kind enough to cut me new baseboards and quarter-round — so now that corner looks like this:IMG 0652 224x300 El Cheapo Kitchen Reno ...

Challenge 3: The Ginormous Cabinet

IMG 06441 224x300 El Cheapo Kitchen Reno ... This is the Ginormous China Cabinet. I actually love this cabinet — there are two big flour bins on the bottom, one of which perfectly fits a 30 lb bag of dog food. There’s room for everything in here. The downside is that the countertop, which you cant’ really see in this photo, is a very ancient piece of linoleum with a swirly grey pattern. Not only is the pattern ugly, but it always looks dirty.

The idea of unpacking this cabinet and repainting it is part of why I couldn’t face this project for so long. But I did it. I pulled everything out, painted the shelf surfaces with oil paint, painted the linoleum with black oil paint, and then painted the rest of it in the same yellow and white as the rest of the room. It now looks like this: IMG 0660 224x300 El Cheapo Kitchen Reno ...

After six days, she rested:

IMG 0663 224x300 El Cheapo Kitchen Reno ... I thought this project would take three days, and it took six. Everything needed two coats of paint, and to mask that green on the walls, I had to prime them as well. It was as big a pain in the ass as I’d figured it would be — but now it’s done, and I have a nice, clean, cheerful kitchen for only the price of paint, and my time.

Which is sort of what the whole Living Small project is all about. Making do with what you have, and what you can do yourself. As much as I’d love one of those kitchens in the magazine photos in the file I’ve been collecting, this is the kitchen I have. It’s a good kitchen. On winter afternoons, the sun streams in, and it’s the most pleasant room in my house. Even more so now that it’s all clean, everything has been scrubbed and painted and spiffed up. Someday, I’ll have an extra freelance job that will pay for a new floor, but for now, this floor is just fine.

So there it is, the El Cheapo Kitchen reno. A new year, a new shiny kitchen.

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Thermopolis Part Three: Dinosaurs!

IMG 0625 300x224 Thermopolis Part Three: Dinosaurs!

Nest of Dinosaur Babies

From the outside, the Wyoming Dinosaur Museum doesn’t look like much, in fact, it looks like a barn for long-haul trucks, but don’t let that fool you, inside are many many beautiful and amazing fossils.

Many of the fossils are arranged in life-like poses like this nest of dinosaur babies. The collection is probably most notable for the huge Supersaurus that stretches the length of the big hall, but I didn’t think my iPhone camera would do it justice. If you click their link, you can see what it looks like. The collection also contains the only Archaeopteryx in North America, as well as a 35-foot T-Rex and several Triceratops (which happens to be the Wyoming state dinosaur). There are more than 30 skeletons of the Allosaurus, a fossil fish from Scotland, as well as flying reptiles from Brazil, dinosaurs from China and marine reptiles from several continents.

IMG 0630 300x224 Thermopolis Part Three: Dinosaurs! While the big dinosaurs were truly impressive, what I liked best were the little ones like these two, posed as they might have been in life. For one thing, these aren’t casts, these are real fossilized bones. The Supersaurus is a cast, mostly because it’s so big that it would be impossible to support the weight of all those fossilized bones. What we both really liked was that in the cases below the Supersaurus were some of the actual fossilized bones, with great signage pointing out the lines that signaled growth plates.

The collection is really impressive. As much as I loved the fossils that appeared to be like live beings, I think my favorites were the many beautiful graphic fossils like this one:

IMG 0632 224x300 Thermopolis Part Three: Dinosaurs!

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Thermopolis: Food Desert

IMG 0596 300x224 Thermopolis: Food Desert

Safari Club, Day's Inn, Thermopolis

While the hot springs were fabulous, as was the Dinosaur Museum (which will get a post of its own), finding real food, and a decent drink, posed a challenge and was the big downside to my Fabulous Birthday Adventure.

The Safari Club at the Day’s Inn is pretty much the only place in town, and while the display of taxidermy is, depending on your view of such things, stupendous and/or horrifying, the food and drink possibilities are problematic. We started out at the Safari Club for a drink before trying to figure out where to go for dinner, and it didn’t seem a good sign when the bartender insisted in trying to sell me girly drinks made with “cake-flavored” vodka.

What?! Really? Ick!

I had a beer, as did Himself, and we looked at the bar menu, which was straight off the Sysco truck. Fried things. Burgers. Wings. There is a restaurant at the Day’s Inn, where they were serving more pre-prepped food including a Saturday night special involving a steak and some breaded shrimp. There was a Prime Rib special. There was a salmon. And all of it screamed pre-prepped and shipped frozen.  It reminded me of my childhood in the Midwest,  when the local hotel often had the only “going out” food in town.

After our beers we walked into town in search of a local restaurant, someplace were actual people were cooking actual food from ingredients, not heating up prepared stuff off a truck. There was an empty Mexican restaurant with a terrifying sidewalk display of inflatable Christmas decorations. And there was another restaurant that looked promising from the outside that claimed it had steaks and such. When we walked in, the place was decorated with angels and those little decorative signs bearing exhortations of faith. The music was … well … “inspirational.” By the time I came back from using the ladies room, Himself was looking crestfallen, and so it was up to me to ask the nice older lady waiting on us to confirm that no, she was sorry, they didn’t have a liquor license.

And so, it was back to the Day’s Inn, where we had another drink, and settled on the burgers. The people at the bar were exceedingly nice, but the food, the food it was not so good. Burgers one was glad were overcooked because who knows how many cows had gone into their pre-packaged contents, and those weird battered fries that Sysco sells. But there was a glass of wine, and a nice sulfury hot tub awaiting us, so despite our disappointment that there wasn’t anyplace in that small town where you could get a meal cooked by actual people and a drink, we made do. (Next time, taking a cooler with us…).

But the real kicker was breakfast. Now, Himself hasn’t had to travel for work so he was unfamiliar with the standard free breakfast that most hotels now offer. Ours didn’t have a real kitchen, so we were greeted in the morning by a chafing dish filled with pre-scrambled eggs that had been heated up in the microwave (yum, rubbery), soggy sausage patties (also microwaved) and the make-your-own-waffle whose batter seems to be comprised entirely of sugar. There was also a case filled with sugary muffins, poofy-yet-stale bagels, and a dispiriting array of individually-wrapped slices of white bread. There was some fruit — apples and oranges, and some yogurt (the sweet kind). Cereal, again, sugary … and there was coffee. Not great coffee, but at least freshly-brewed coffee. It all looked like food, and yet, none of it really was, well, food.

Now, I was not as shocked or dismayed by all of this as Himself was, but then again, not only did I live in “normal” suburban California for quite a while, but I’ve also travelled for work. Himself, he was appalled. He kept asking why you couldn’t get a decent burger in Wyoming, of all places — after all, we’d passed plenty of steers on our way down there. They grow a lot of potatoes in Wyoming and Montana too — as for the breakfast, he coudn’t understand why even if they didn’t have a real kitchen, they didn’t just have someone making real eggs? You can do that in an electric skillet. What really upset him was that no one else was upset, that everyone seemed to think the food situation was perfectly fine. That people were happily eating what Michael Pollan has so aptly named “food-like” products.

And so, the downside of Thermopolis — food, or the lack therof. Next trip, we’re taking a cooler with some real food — perhaps a couple of hard boiled eggs, some sandwich supplies, or my mother’s old standby for picnics — a nice cold roasted chicken. Some fruit. Decent bread. And our own stash of coffee to put in the in-room coffeemaker. Also, a second cooler with some beer for him and a decent bottle of wine for me. We’ll travel like my great-grandparents did, with our own supplies (although I don’t think I’ll need to pack all my own sheets and bedding like they did on their cross-country auto trip in the early 1920s).

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Thermopolis! My Birthday Adventure …

IMG 0583 300x224 Thermopolis! My Birthday Adventure ...

World's Largest Hot Mineral Springs

For my birthday last weekend, my sweetie whisked me off to Thermopolis, Wyoming for a little adventure.

As you can see from the hillside sign, Thermopolis bills itself as the world’s largest hot mineral springs, and while it’s smaller in acreage than the Mammoth terraces in Yellowstone, apparently about a million-and-a-half gallons of hot water gush out of the springs every day. The springs themselves, as well as two hotels,  two commercial pools with slides and saunas and other entertainments, and a State Bath House with both an outdoor and indoor pool, are all part of a really lovely state park. There are numerous picnic areas, and a bandshell, and they’d put up just the right amount of holiday lights — enough to be pretty, but not so many that they overwhelmed the place. The whole vibe was just good in the way that well-run public amenities often are. Everything was beautifully kept up, and even in December there were people using the whole place — not just the pools, but we saw a cute family having their Christmas pictures taken, and various dog walkers, and even some fishermen (who were taking themselves far too seriously). Oh, and there’s a lovely retirement home there as well, which seems sort of ideal.

IMG 0573 300x224 Thermopolis! My Birthday Adventure ...

Hotel, Former Sanitarium

We stayed at the Best Western, which is a converted Sanitarium built around a central courtyard where the pool and mineral hot tub are located. It’s a fairly recent conversion and they did a great job. We had a corner room which was enormous, with nice furniture and good views and it was down a little corridor from the outdoor balcony/hallways surrounding the pool area, so it was nice and quiet. The hot pool was wonderful, and when we asked they turned it up a little bit (by increasing the amount of springs water  coming into the pool). We were joined by two other couples from Sheridan, and then a dad with his little girl, and the conversations were wide-ranging, lively, and best of all, friendly. When two die-hard lefties like us can spend a fun evening trading stories about wolf management and wolves-we-have-seen, and discover connections (on my part) among the horse people, and just generally shoot the shit, well, it gives you hope that despite all the yelling on television, actual Americans can still manage to have conversations with one another.

 

IMG 0574 224x300 Thermopolis! My Birthday Adventure ...

Tepee Fountain

It’s a fair drive from Livingston, so we got there with about an hour of daylight left with which to explore the park. The first “sight” was this big ball-o-mineralization. There’s a tiny burbling fountain on the top and when you get closer, you discover from the useful sign, that under all that mineral accumulation is a stone teepee! IMG 0575 150x112 Thermopolis! My Birthday Adventure ...

We went for a nice walk around the park, which was refreshingly devoid of fences and warning signs. They seemed to somehow feel that people were probably going to be bright enough not to burn or drown themselves. We walked up the hill to the source spring, and along the mineral terraces, and out across the swinging bridge (which I didn’t get a photo of, it spans the Big Horn River, which runs alongside the park).

IMG 0589 300x224 Thermopolis! My Birthday Adventure ...

Mineral Terraces

While we were on the bluff overlooking the river and the terraces, a huge flock, thousands of little black birds, starlings perhaps, came swooping up the canyon below us, nearly engulfing us, while below ducks and geese fished the river in those places where the hot springs met the colder river water.

As we turned to head back to the hotel, and begin our quest for dinner (more on that tomorrow) the sun was setting through the steam. We lucked out on weather — two blue sky days in December, and even with the buildings on site, you really got a sense of what the springs must have looked like to the Indians who used them for centuries, and for the first white settlers who stumbled upon them.

IMG 0593 300x224 Thermopolis! My Birthday Adventure ...

Tomorrow: The Food Desert that is Thermopolis

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Organized!

IMG 0572 224x300 Organized! My kitchen is the one part of my house that has still, after almost 10 years, not been renovated. It’s one of those tricky cases — if I pull the appliances out to paint, I might as well replace the floor. And if I’m replacing the floor then maybe I should have that problematic weird wall pulled out. But I don’t really have the funding to do all that, and well, the kitchen works surprisingly well in it’s unrenovated state, and so, nothing gets done. Sigh.

I’m considering painting it over the holidays. The Big Corporation I work for closes for a week so I’ve got to take the time off, and as long as I’m not getting paid, I might as well do something useful. But then there’s the floor issue, and I’m not sure I have the money to replace the floor, and then there’s the timing issue — will the floor guys be working that week? You can see where this goes. I’ll have to talk to Himself about it, since he’s the contractor and all and see what he thinks. I hate to paint, but I’m not bad at it, and it’s certainly cheaper than hiring someone (including Himself).

IMG 0564 224x300 Organized!However, there was one easy fix I did yesterday that has made me feeling much more sanguine about my un-done kitchen. I had one bookshelf in there already — the one with the chiles hanging off it, but what with the CookBookSlut work (another column should be up next week) the cookbook situation was getting out of hand. There was this messy pile, with other messy stuff tucked in the corner, and messy re-usable grocery bags stuffed underneath.

So I succumbed to the Big Box store, where I found a new five shelf white unit for a ridiculously low price. I put it together, then finally had the space to organize the cookbooks.
I’m really trying not to keep them all — just the ones I think I’ll actually use. The others I’ve been selling to Powells (in exchange for yet more books — when I’m an old lady they’re going to find me buried under a pile of books). It makes me ridiculously happy to look over at that corner now — there are sections now for English cooking, Reference, Essays, American, Mushroom cookbooks, Vegetable/vegetarian, Baking, Greek, Italian, French, Asian, Meat/Charcuterie and Canning/Pickling. (You can take the girl out of the bookstore, but you can never really take the bookstore clerk out of the girl). I can see things now. I can find things.

I’ve also been playing around with this fun site called Eat Your Books. They comp’ed me for a membership, but it’s not very expensive — $25 for a year and if you have a lot of cookbooks, as you can see I do, I think it’s kind of a great idea. You search their database for cookbooks you own, then click to add them to your “bookshelf” — what they provide is an expanded database of the indexes of those books, complete with lists of major ingredients. So, for example, if I’m looking at the last of the lamb in my freezer, and wondering what to do with it, I can type Lamb into the recipe index on “My Bookshelf” and it will kick up all the lamb recipes in the books I own — then you can drill down if you want, lamb and ginger, or lamb and grilled, etc. What I’m liking about it is that it reminds me of cookbooks I haven’t used in a while, as well as that it provides an easy access to some of the encyclopedic cookbooks like Joy or the Sunset Cookbook that I often forget to consult. They’ll also kick out shopping lists for you, and I’m sure there are a bunch of other features I haven’t figured out yet.

So there we are, one small corner of the kitchen re-organized (or perhaps just organized), one small clot of chaos defeated. Now, what to make for dinner?

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Stealth Salt?!?

From this morning’s paper, an AP article about Thanksgiving dinner that had both of us apoplectic with …. with … with outrage at the manner in which the corporate media normalizes Corporate Food. Here’s the lede:

No need for a salt shaker on the Thanksgiving table: Unless you really cooked from scratch, there’s lots of sodium already hidden in the menu. … The traditional Thanksgiving fixings show how easy sodium can sneak into the foods you’d least expect.

Sneak into your food?!? The salt doesn’t “sneak into” your food — the Big Ag corporations and the Big Food companies put it there. Processed food is just that — processed. That means it’s had salt and sugar and all sorts of creepy chemicals added to it so that the Big Food companies can then sell it to you for too much money while trying to pull a fast one by convincing you it’s a) easier and b) “better” for you. And the idea that “really cooking from scratch” is the exception, not the norm, and an exception so rare that the AP feels they have to warn you about the salt, sneaking into your food, all by itself, while you’re not looking — well, now we’re back to outrage square one again.

I’m not the only one pointing this out, not by a long shot — here’s Michael Ruhlman’s original rant about Salt, and here’s a later one with a lot of links to scientific studies. Basically, we both agree — if you’re worried about salt, or have high blood pressure, then cook your own food from whole, unprocessed ingredients (and buy good meat, from reputable producers who don’t shoot it full of brine) and watch how you season it. Otherwise, the salt you add at the table, or while cooking wholesome real food for yourself and your family poses no danger. The piles of salt that food processors add to all that junk they’re selling in the frozen case and the middle aisles of the supermarket — well yeah, that shit will kill you. So why eat it?

This is exactly the sort of crappy article I was complaining about yesterday. Thanksgiving is not rocket science. Green beans are better without gloppy cream-of-mushroom soup on them. Stuffing is just stale bread, onions, garlic, herbs, butter and some broth or wine to moisten it. Gravy is pan juices with flour to thicken. Turkey is just a big bird. Mashed potatoes are exactly that — potatoes cooked in water until tender, then mashed. Pumpkin pie is something better left off the table, if you’re asking me — perhaps a nice French Yogurt Cake instead.

It’s not rocket science and the people in factories, or in big chain restaurants do not know how to do it better than you do.

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It’s Just a Turkey …

 Its Just a Turkey ... Sigh. Every year. The endless parade of newspaper and magazine articles, the FoodTV episodes, the endless parade of drek from the media implying that cooking Thanksgiving dinner is on par with neurosurgery, wing walking, base jumping.

It’s just a turkey. Thaw it and roast it — make a few side dishes, call the people you love and gather them around your table. That’s it. Doesn’t have to be good china, doesn’t have to be 14 dishes, doesn’t even have to be 14 people — just cook something and invite people to share it with you.

Now granted, I learned to cook a turkey when I was about 10, and we had no money after my parents’ divorce and my mother fed us on turkey for a couple of winters. A turkey will keep a family of three, even with two ravenous pre-teens, afloat for a week, easy. Roast turkey, turkey sandwiches, turkey-noodle-casserole, and finally, the dreaded turkey soup. As a result, I am not always a big fan of the turkey, unlike my Beloved, who loves turkey above all other meats.

I guess my main point is the thing that bugs me is the way the Food Industry uses the annual holiday to reinforce the idea that Cooking Is Hard, and that Cooking Is Drudgery and that You Can Do It Wrong if you aren’t led by the nose by the authorities.

Go to town people. Have some fun. Cook stuff you like this year instead of the stuff you think you’re supposed to love. If you like to experiment, try a new recipe — we still laugh at the year my dad and my stepmother tried this baroque recipe where the turkey was coated in a thick paste of spices and a flour slurry — the paste coating burned — black black black. And then it wouldn’t come off — we wound up chipping it off in teeny little pieces, with most of the skin still attached, which was okay because the skin was all flabby and icky under the paste. It was hilarious. It was sort of horrible, but it was hilarious …

So readers — cough it up — what’s your best Thanksgiving cooking story? Either triumph or tragedy –

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